Dan Negrelli was a fantastic parent, ski patrolman and instructor, hiker, and Halloween party thrower—these things were abundantly clear to me after nine years of friendship. But when he passed away recently in a skiing accident, I was overwhelmed to learn what an amazing teacher he was as well.
I bawled scrolling through the online tributes that shared how Dan helped his students grow as people each day. He went above and beyond for them, his obituary says, by creating an outdoor club. Sometimes, he even used his own money or collected donations so he could provide kids with outdoor gear.
“He will forever be the reason I can continue my goals and have a career,” one student shared. “He is the reason hundreds of students even think of college, and I thank him for that.”
We can all learn so much about living from Dan. His legacy illustrates how we too can make not only a living but also a lasting impact.
Author Neil Ghosh explores these topics and more in his new book, Do More Good: Inspiring Lessons from Extraordinary People. The book features lessons that Ghosh, a non-profit executive and entrepreneur, has learned from 30 very different people with whom he has spent time throughout his career. These include the Dalai Lama, Nobel Peace Prize winner Malala Yousafzai and restaurateur José Andrés.
The common denominator? Each of these individuals has made meaningful change in the world.
Three important premises
Inspired by his lower middle-class upbringing in Kolkata, India, and his mother—whom he calls “a 24-hour empathy machine”—Ghosh penned Do More Good. In his opinion, we are all shaped by what we see and experience. This idea has inspired the three main premises that his book builds on.
The first premise is that anyone can have an impact, whether you’re a CEO or a street sweeper. “Giving has nothing to do with wealth,” Ghosh says. “No matter where we live and what we earn, we can always make a difference in somebody else’s life.”
The second is that we all have the potential to learn from one another, no matter our different views. “Even people we don’t like, necessarily, we can learn something [from],” he says.
The third premise is a firm belief that “generosity fuels personal growth, happiness and success.”
Ghosh goes on to share five actions that anyone, anywhere and of any means can take to have a greater impact in their corner of the world:
1. Be an active citizen
You don’t have to go far to make a difference. “Get involved in your community, wherever you live,” Ghosh says. “You don’t have to do greater things at a national level. Wherever you live, advocate for causes you believe in.”
With each person he features in his book, he provides a list of organizations you can get involved with right now, like Big Brothers Big Sisters of America or Habitat for Humanity.
If you can’t physically go anywhere, there’s an app for that. Ghosh recommends 5 Calls, which makes it easy to send lawmakers messages about issues that are important to you. “When I say action, I’m not talking [about] going to a rally or all these major things some people do,” he says. “You can just click a button, and you have done your job.”
2. Mentor or teach someone
Dan Negrelli was determined to share his love of the outdoors with others. Through the school club he created, he took students to the top of a mountain in New Hampshire last summer, an experience that they wouldn’t have had if he hadn’t organized it. “I’ve just always wanted to bring kids up there and experience the magic of being in the Alpine Zone of the White Mountains,” he told a local news station at the time.
“Sharing what we know, I think, is the most lasting way to make an impact,” Ghosh says, referring to Dan’s passion. Mentoring or teaching someone doesn’t have to be this organized, either. You can teach a friend how to knit, your neighbor how to repair a broken sink or a non-English speaker how to speak English.
“If you know how to code, teach a kid to code,” Ghosh says. “Whatever your strong point is—and we all have it. It’s just impossible not to have it.”
3. Practice micro philanthropy
“We’re all philanthropists,” in Ghosh’s opinion. “When I go to a gas station… I pump my gas, and I give 50 cents to St. Jude. Well, I am a philanthropist,” he says.
According to Ghosh, the word philanthropy is often associated with rich people—but he rejects that idea. Anyone can practice micro philanthropy by supporting a local business, donating a book or sponsoring a child.
In his book, he notes how chef José Andrés—founder of World Central Kitchen, which has served millions of meals in crisis zones—has inspired many to engage in such causes. “With a little creative thinking—and awareness of the needs in our communities—each of us can find ways to make our gifts matter even more than they already do,” he writes.
4. Show up for others
Sometimes the most profound impact you can have, Ghosh says, is simply being present for someone else—a friend in need, a colleague facing a challenge or a struggling neighbor. Using Asok Motayed as an example, whom he says in the book is his “most influential mentor,” Ghosh explains that one of the things he observed is the importance of giving time.
“A lot of my friends know that I’m available,” Ghosh says. “If they’re sick, I’m available. Again, we all have a limit. I cannot be available for 100 people—I don’t have time for that. But at least to some extent, they know I’m available.”
5. Live your daily life with kindness
Doing good doesn’t have to be a big thing. Instead, it should be a part of our daily lives.
According to a recent Pew research survey, Ghosh notes, almost half of Americans say that people have become more rude since the COVID-19 pandemic. But practicing simple kindness, he says, is the antidote to this—and it’s something he witnessed firsthand on a trip to Wyoming with his son.
At a coffee shop, his son Ryan expressed interest in seeing wildlife. Out of nowhere, “this middle-aged white lady, she said, ‘I heard your son wanted to see wildlife. Why don’t you follow me?’” he recalls. “She spent two hours of her time to show this brown dude wildlife in Wyoming.… That’s the legacy I want to share. That’s what this book is about.”
What is success?
True success, Ghosh says, is measured in the lives we touch. Although individually, we sometimes feel very helpless about what impact we can have, “I keep insisting this is like a lifelong journey,” he says.
“It doesn’t matter what position you hold in a company, [and] it absolutely doesn’t matter what your title is—impact and title [are not] connected,” he adds. Instead, he’s found that small acts of kindness can create “a life-changing impact—not just for the receivers, but also for the givers.”
Photo courtesy of Neil Ghosh